Mary Elizabeth (nee Flanagan) Smiley died in the early morning hours of July 30, 2025. She was surrounded by family and love.  She chose to make her exit while everyone was sleeping so as not to make a fuss, which was typical Mare. The gentle smile on her face made it clear that her beloved Michael was there to meet her and take her hand in the afterlife.

Mary was born June 9, 1952 in Holyoke, Massachusetts to John Edward and Rosetta Catherine (nee O'Neil) Flanagan.  She was the second of four children; older brother John "Jack" and younger sisters Ann and Carol.

She was a quiet but mischievous child, sometimes getting herself and her siblings out of church by implying to the nuns that they had attended earlier that morning. Despite the occasional reprimand for too-short skirts, she graduated from Classical High School in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1970.

When she met the love of her life Michael Smiley in 1972, her life began to bloom. He was a handsome Naval officer in town for training; she was a gorgeous young woman on a date with .... a friend. (Editor's note: We aren't convinced the poor guy knew he was friend-zoned until that moment.) Mike sent over a drink and the rest is a love story meant for Hollywood.

The young couple's move to California provided rich terroir for them to establish roots and begin their family. Navy life isn't always easy but the Smileys tended to their family with love and care.  Adversity makes the vine grow strong. Mike's deployments could be challenging— such as when Colleen surprised everyone by arriving six weeks early. Mary was forever grateful for the love and support of family and friends who showed up for her when Michael was away.

Lifelong friendships were cultivated with the other Navy wives. They laughed and danced the night away (with spouses when they were in town) in Long Beach, Guam and San Diego.  And when they needed a getaway, they went shopping in Korea or Hong Kong.

When her daughters Elizabeth and Colleen arrived, Mary dedicated herself to being the best mother she could no matter how many challenges Beth (nap time) and Colleen (most of high school) threw at her.  The roots they had set down entwined and encompassed her family, protecting them and keeping them safe. Mike and Mary built a home and a community of chosen family in San Diego.

When Mike retired from the Navy, Mary ventured into the role of working mom. In large social settings she could be quiet and reserved, letting Mike's big, bold personality shine, but among friends she opened up the more you let her breathe. Her customer-facing roles as a lunch lady and later a product merchandiser really let all the notes of her experience and personality come together. She delighted in driving around all day, listening to talk radio and visiting stores in every part of San Diego. She befriended store owners and won over their clientele with her charm and wit.

Eventually she quietly retired, not even telling her husband, just never quite getting around to looking for a new job.  This was the calm before the storm as Michael soon faced significant health challenges.  She never left his side, even sleeping on the couch next to his hospital bed every night.  Mike and Mary weathered the seasons of aging and illness with love and good humor. They made the absolute most of every second together right up until Michael's very last moment on Earth.

With Mike's passing and her own hospice journey, Mary rediscovered peace in the simple joys of life. She committed to enjoying every day she had left, and she did. She loved to bask in the warmth of the Southern California sunshine, savoring the taste of a cool, oaky chardonnay.  She loved escaping to Central California's wine country and declared her rose-encompassed spot at a Paso Robles vineyard next to a koi pond to be "heaven on earth". Sharing those moments with friends and family meant everything to her.

The sound of her laughter could be heard resonating throughout Casa de Smiley as she bestowed treats and belly rubs on her beloved grand-dog Billy. Many drives home from dinner were extended because Mare wanted to listen to "just one more song" as she danced and sang along as Beth played DJ from the back seat.

Our Mare will be missed terribly but her joie de vivre will be remembered in every note of a great song, every sip of delicious wine, and every ridiculously large bite of a fabulous dessert.

She grew to live life in full bloom and would encourage you to do the same.

Mary was preceded in death by her adored husband Michael, her parents John and Rosetta Flanagan, sister Ann Flanagan, nieces Nicole (Flanagan) Ayers, Tara (Flanagan) Koenig and Timi (Soehlke) McMillin and brother-in-law Keith Cason.

Mary is survived by her loving daughters Elizabeth Smiley and Colleen Smiley; brother Jack (Carol) Flanagan and sister Carol (Gardner) Palmer; aunt Mary Miller; sisters-in-law Patricia (Jim) Soehlke, Eileen (Jim) McKay and Mary Ellen Cason; and many cousins, nieces, and nephews. And of course, her "grand-dog" Billy.

The funeral service will be held Friday, August 22nd at 11:00 a.m. at Ss. Peter & Paul Parish in Collinsville, IL, with visitation beginning at 10:00 a.m. Burial will be in Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery, St. Louis, MO.

Details for reception to follow, as well as a Celebration of Life in San Diego.

Memorials may be made to LightBridge Hospice Community Foundation https://lbhcf.org/donate/